Going away to college can be the most exhilarating or the most challenging time in the life of your son or daughter.
There’s the excitement of being out of the nest and on their own for the first time.
And there’s the fear of being out of their comfort zone and of being alone.
These two forces combined with the demands of college studies and the pressures of making new friends can lead to feelings of stress, anxiety and depression.
In fact, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one in four young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 have a diagnosable mental illness; 40 percent of them do not seek help for their mental health issues.
How does a parent know that their college student is having trouble and what should they do?
Ron Samarian, M.D., chief of psychiatry, Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak, said regular communication with a college student is key. That communication should include proactive, gentle but pointed questioning, as well as active listening.
Ask them:
- How are they doing?
- Are they making friends?
- Are their studies going well?
- How are they sleeping?
- How are they eating?
- Are they participating in activities?
- Is there anything you can do to help?
Listen for:
- signs of a lack of enthusiasm or interest
- doubt about their future
- false optimism that doesn’t ring true
- a tone of voice that isn’t normal for them
- a lack of social connections
“If you are picking up on signs of trouble during a phone call, ideally, you should arrange to visit them or invite them back home for a better assessment,” said Dr. Samarian. “Or suggest that they talk to their best friends, or visit their student health center to talk with a counselor there.”
Most colleges offer free student counseling services.
Let your student know that feeling stressed, anxious or depressed is common and normal in college, but don’t dismiss their feelings. Respond in a way that validates their feelings and lets them know it’s okay to seek help.
Dr. Samarian also noted that abuse of drugs or alcohol can contribute to and go hand-in-hand with mental health issues in college and can be a means of self-harm. So watching for signs of substance abuse is also critically important.
If you think your student is in immediate danger of harming themselves or others, encourage them to seek immediate help through a crisis phone, chat or text line.
Locally, a 24-hour Crisis Line (800-231-1127) is operated by Common Ground with text and chat service, supported by Beaumont funding, from 4 p.m. – 2 a.m., 7 days a week.